silenceinourhearts asked: why I just sent you that previous ask, I have no idea. It was so pointless lol.
I wrote an essay about almost eating soap. I dominate the no points. You’re fine.
silenceinourhearts asked: So I just read your text post about your shower story. And I don't know what to think man. But you have beautiful writing skills, maybe you can write a book. But what the heck why were you going to eat something IN THE SHOWER AHAHAHAHA :) anyways, take care, don't put everything in your mouth ;)
But taste is one of the five senses. It’s how we navigate our precious world. Sure, it may feel, look, sound, and smell like a VHS copy of Kazaam…but how can you be COMPLETELY sure? Know what I mean?
allowmetomakeyouthink asked: Where the hells bells is your about section? I wanna read more about a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap and does introspective psychological evaluations.
I’m saving the about for the eulogy. Everything else is on Facebook. Find me. Friend me. Share in my embarrassing struggle with nudity, food and self loathing.
Anonymous asked: Is your background a close-up of a pickle?
Pickle? EW. No. EW. Ugh. EW. No.
Anonymous asked: They say 1 in 5 people are asian. There are 5 people in my family and one of them must be asian. I think it could be my mom or dad, or my younger sister sarah, or my older brother chim-lee-young?
What about YOU?
a21stcenturyeponine asked: Followed you for your cheesy biscuit monologue. I swear I'm in tears. Please more. More right now.
I have a couple of “gems” peppered throughout my blog. Search and ye shall find.
loomeria asked: It's probably slightly strange that I followed you all of five minutes ago, but I really hope you post some more things like your cheesy biscuit monologue. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time and the fact that you use punctuation on tumblr is so relieving. So yeah, thank you for being a phenomenal writer.
Phenomenal? Shit. Thank you. I got dogged a lot for all of my punctuation, though. One fuckin dude a million years ago asked me if I was roll playing Captain Kirk. DICK.
thefrottagecottage asked: So do you have a blog strictly dedicated to 140 character dick jokes? And if so, link?