I apologize in advance for how much of a downer this is going to be. I want to note that this isn’t targeting anyone specifically, but instead the entire world right now. Apparently.

But, yeah, anyway…

I don’t get why it is SO FUCKING SURPRISING that an outrageous comedian said something outrageous. Like, people seem to think that people who make a living telling jokes are fucking flawless gods or something. Someone said something that someone didn’t think was funny. Holy fuck no way. You mean to tell me one of those people up there with the microphones have been saying shit to people that PEOPLE DON’T AGREE WITH?! Police! Police! Help! Heeeeelp!

Why the fuck do you care? Please really evaluate this. Why on earth would you give even the remotest fuck about that? The person making the joke, isn’t you. The person who the joke was made to, isn’t you. What about the situation so desperately calls for your immediate involvement? People are STARVING TO DEATH right down the road from you. Some parent is indoctrinating their children into a life of hatred and fear, right across the street. Animals are being kept in small cages and abused everyday in hopes that they will grow up to be more efficient killers. These aren’t jokes. These aren’t some feelings getting hurt. Actual torture and real pain. Right in front of your very eyes. The effort I’ve seen put into this Rape Isn’t Funny Crusade staggeringly eclipses the effort I’ve seen the very same people put into actually helping those that are actually getting hurt.

This isn’t about trivializing rape. Even though I know you all would love to think it is. This is about you. This is about using a popular situation as a soapbox so you can voice your globally insignificant opinions. It’s a chance to not feel so worthless. If someone famous hadn’t just made a rape joke, your walls of texts would all go skimmed.

The same shit happens whenever there’s a media circus or scandal. We all suddenly want to read immense and passionate posts and blogs. It’s so we can cultivate facts and opinions to call our own. And we do this repeatedly until we have enough information and recycled analogies to fill our own page with bullshit. Again, because we are all so fucking special and important.

I know this has been said a million times, but a rape joke is honestly no different than a holocaust joke or child abuse joke. None. The thing you people don’t get is that not every joke is the same. Some are made because they make us laugh nervously. Some are made to make us think. Some are made to test how desensitized we are. Some are made to appeal to our inner child. But above all, jokes are subjective. Lots of people laugh at rape jokes, that’s why people make them. Sure, it’s a nervous laughter, but it’s laughter. Yes, rape is absolutely terrible. That’s why people joke about it. Same with murder, abuse and illness. I feel like you all are trying to convince the world to take life more seriously. Will that make anything better? To stop joking about the awful stuff? Will life be any less horrible? Making jokes about murder doesn’t increase the amount of people that get murdered. Same with rape. You’re giving the human moral compass more credit than it deserves. Because the amount of people that have been murdered and raped on this planet before Tosh was even born WOULD BLOW YOUR LITTLE FUCKING MIND.

Nobody actually got hurt. I can’t stress this enough. What a dumb fucking first world problem. We all shit our pants because someone made a rape JOKE. Are you kidding? People are actually getting raped! North Korea has extermination camps. Right now. You’re reading this with the AC on while someone in Hoeryong is getting pushed into the grave they literally just dug themselves. You whiny fucks. Be thankful you’re even allowed to have these opinions you so unabashedly tout. Because someone actually just got stoned to death yesterday in Sudan for having one. We are given an amazing and, in some places, unbelievable freedom. We can say whatever the fuck we want. Why can’t anybody remember that? We’ve had a freedom so long we are taking it for granted. That sentence just happened. I can’t believe it. You’re labeling the wrong people monsters, you idiots.

What could’ve been a low-key and intimate incident between a comedian and an audience member got turned into a spectacle because she wanted to publicly shame him and he in turn wanted to publicly shame her. Then some blogger wanted to publicly shame him MORE. Then some comedians wanted to publicly shame her MORE. And now it’s a battle to see who can publicly shame who the most. That’s some pathetic shit.

Now go and actually save something’s life and make a difference, you assholes. Because at the end of the day, those who are being kept from LIFE, don’t give a fuck that you’re outraged about it on the Internet.